So, yesterday, I was debating what I wanted to do. I go tanning in the beds at Anytime Fitness and I cant go into the gym and only go tanning. I just cant bring myself to do that. Embarassing. So I here I was weighing my options: either do my Brazilian Butt Lift and not go tanning, or go to the gym to workout and tan. I figured the latter was the better choice, since I'd be able to accomplish 2 things at one time. Boy was I ever wrong. Its been awhile since I've worked out in the gym and last night made me realize why: I need direction in my workouts. When doing a video, I have someone telling me what to do, pushing me until the end. In the gym, I'm all on my own.
I stepped onto the treadmill planning to do sprint intervals. I started up the machine at a walking pace, put in my headphones, and pushed play on my Ipod. Dead. The screen wouldnt even light up. Not one to give up easily, I plugged my headphones into my Iphone and went to Youtube. I searched workout playlists. Nothing longer than 3 minutes came up. I tried to think of a good pump-up song to get me through my run. My mind was blank. I had gone to the gym with a time limit in mind. I wanted to be home in time to put my son to bed. Now that I had just wasted almost 10 minutes, still walking at a slow pace, I decided I needed to get on with my run. I planned to do my sprints for 25 minutes. I lasted 20. Including the 10 minutes I had spent walking. I had never tried to do it before and I dont think I will ever again: running in silence is pure torture. All I could think of was how bored I was. I looked at the time every 10 seconds it felt like. By this time I had lost all the motivation I had when I left for the gym. I contemplated what I wanted to do next. I chose to go tanning. After my tan, I decided I should get home because it was getting late.
I walked in the door and Jett had already fallen asleep. He woke me up around 1 in the morning and we rocked together in the chair with a bottle. As I was sitting there, I thought what a waste my evening had turned into. My workout (if you could even call it that) was pathetic. I was in the tanning bed a tad too long and my skin was now pink. And I wasnt able to say goodnight to my baby. But, for once, I chose not to dwell on these things and remember that tomorrow is another day. My teeth might not be quite as white as I had hoped and I wont look as amazing in my bikini as I had pictured. But I'm getting married for a reason; Matt loves me just the way I am. Love handles and all. Maybe I'll lose the weight by our one year anniversary.
One things for sure: tonight I will be doing BBL rather than the gym. My skin needs a break from the bulbs anyways. 
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