Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Mid life crisis at 24?

To say I'm unhappy at my job would be an understatement.  To begin, its a 45 minute commute each way.  On top of that, I work 10 hour days.  Which equals a VERY long day.  Especially for someone with a small child.  Its frustrating that I leave for work before he wakes up and am only home for about an hour and half before its time to put him to bed.  Also, its not challenging.  Not even a little bit.  I answer the phone with the same greeting, enter numbers into a computer, and mail invoices out to customers at the end of the day.  It makes me feel like a robot.  Lastly, I know absolutely nothing about the products I'm selling.  I am from the city.  In fact, I have never once stepped foot onto a farm.  Yet I sell feed to farmers.  They call and ask me questions and I think to myself "if only you knew the girl you're asking this to, you would surely giggle".  At the beginning I figured, how hard can it be?  I'm a fast learner, I'll catch on!  I was wrong.  I don't know what the problem is; maybe because I have no interest in learning this type of stuff.  Or maybe its that I cant visualize what I'm trying to learn so I just cant wrap my brain around the idea.  Either way, after a year and a half, I have decided this is a lost cause.  I need to move on.
I applied for the nursing program at the local community college, took a test and was accepted!! I was so overjoyed, I couldn't wait to start!  Then, reality set in.  Since I have already received a Bachelor's degree, I don't qualify for financial aid.  Any.  Isn't that a bummer.  On top of having to take out a loan to pay for the schooling, I don't know how on earth we will make ends meet financially with me not working.  Matt and I have been trying to buy a house for some time now and that presents another problem: our bills are going to increase, with our income will be cut in half.  I'm no math genius, but even I know that doesn't add up!
Another thought I had was I should do daycare!  Wouldn't that be wonderful?  I could stay home all day with Jett and watch a couple other kids to make some money!  Then I started thinking of the logistics of it: I would first need our new house to have the space for this.  Also, being that I would be working at home, I would never leave work.  I would constantly be doing something for work and would never be able to leave the stress of it all.  my mind kept wandering and I thought about other kids.  What if they were so misbehaved I couldn't handle them?  Then I would have to deal with letting the parents know that this isn't working.  I hate confrontation.  I avoid it if at all possible.  Shoot, it doesn't sound like this is the right path for me either.
A couple days ago, I was at the gym (yes, I gave it another try), and my friend Ryan was training me.  He was saying how they will be hiring another personal trainer soon and all I would need to do is get certified online.  Since I already have a background in health with my schooling, this would be the perfect job for me!  Then, my mind starting running.  I would be working off commission, so I have no idea how much money I would be making.  The certification is $500(!!) so I would be spending a lot of money on this.  What if I didn't like it?
I wish there was a crystal ball for me to look in or someone to tell me what I should do that will make me the most happy in the long run.  Unfortunately though, nobody has the answers.  I think with everything, there will be pros and cons.  I need to stop thinking of all the negative aspects and think about how each choice will positively affect the lives of my family.  At this point, I'm thinking of doing the personal training and go to school.  If I get certified now, I can keep doing it while I am in school and who knows?  Maybe I'll keep doing it on the side after I become a nurse!  So, that's the plan for now.  Ask me tomorrow what my plan is- I'm sure it will change :)
What about you?  What risks have you taken in your life?  Did they turn out the way you had hoped or did it turn into something you regretted?
I'm going to end with two of my favorite quotes:
 
"Everything happens for a reason..Sometimes things fall apart so other things can fall together, but in the end whats meant to be-will always find a way"

"Never regret anything because at one point, it was exactly what you wanted"
 
Have a fabulous day :)

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